Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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