I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
