Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
