Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
