I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
