Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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