I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.