At least make sure they are 18
Why
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
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Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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