Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
