hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
