Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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