? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
