o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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