I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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