i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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