I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
