i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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