The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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