Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
