Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
