i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
