somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
