everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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