So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
