So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize