i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
