i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
