Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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