I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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