so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
