do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
