So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
