im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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