how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
