Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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