Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
