I just cut my nipple shaving
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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