I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
