I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
