I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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