Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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