Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
