you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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