I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
