i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize