everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
