if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
