i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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