i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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