when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
