I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it glows. i had to have it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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