just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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