she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
