How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
