You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize