I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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