Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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