Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Panties = found
Randomize
