Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
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Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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